I’m a meanie
Spain has made me mean. I can’t do my favorite pastime of walking down the street and smiling at people I literally cross paths with. Why can’t I, you ask? Your mouth still works the same way on the other side of the Atlantic, right? Smiles and kind gestures are part of the vocabulary of the “universal language,” so what’s the big deal?
Though these points are all technically true, an unexpected grin from a stranger on the street is not received with a surprised smile in return or a ‘how do you do’ nod of the head. No, for the most part I get people that look right through more or, if I’m being too liberal with my sharing of good-cheer, I get a sneaky look from a man pausing for a moment from his work for a ‘hola bonita.’
Nope, thanks, I’ll pass on the smiles. My red hair and pale skin are enough of an indicator that I am an outsider, so there’s no need to draw any more attention to myself.
Now I walk the 15-minutes to class with brisk determination, looking only through oncoming human traffic and never at them. I feel so mean and like such a cold, unfeeling, miserable person weaving in and out of pedestrians. I miss the high I get from making those split-second connections with another wandering pair of eyes or the shared moment of empathy and compassion with the woman whose frazzled hair and lopsided handbags indicate the end of a day that just won’t end, eyes and aching feet wishing only to be home. If only my smile could mean something.
Haha — France was like this too. I don’t know if you’re in classes with Spanish students, but my friend who studied abroad in Granada found them very insular and hard to get to know — the word they use is “cerrado,” closed off. I found French students to be similar, though there were definitely a few exceptions of people who were very friendly and outgoing. I think in the US we are used to extreme displays of emotion, people try to be charming, charismatic, and simply overly friendly, which can often be perceived as superficial (though in your case I know it’s not!). In my experience, Europeans were more reserved with their emotions, so you get fewer random smiles, but the ones you do get may feel more sincere. You win some, you lose some!
Comment by Laurel — January 31, 2008 @ 11:05 pm
Alyssa,
We are really enjoying your Blog - terific reading, impressive photos and, most of all, seeing Spain through your eyes.
I (Josh) always found that looking dismissive of all around you was the most effective facial expression to carry on the streets in France.
Thanks for the tortilla recipe!
The Sherbins
Comment by The Sherbins — February 2, 2008 @ 4:49 am
http://tigreton.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/SmilingCat2.jpg
Also, I’m listening to the Counting Crows’ Holiday in Spain, which makes me think about you!! Mostly because it mentions Spain (and not really for any other lyrical reason)..but it’s also a sweet song, and it makes me happy (have a smiley) and re: IT MAKES ME THINK OF YOU! So that’s good. Yay!
Comment by Tiff — February 2, 2008 @ 4:22 pm